Take some time...

I feel like these past few months have been growing for me.

After dreaming, planning, and dreaming some more about "life after graduation," I have found myself suddenly staring that life in the face without knowing exactly what I'm going to be doing.

There are times I find myself frantically praying that God will just show me what I'm supposed to do, or give me a clear "calling" to a mission field where I would be useful.

But instead of either of those, I'm finding something quite the opposite. First, I find that I have been rushing through life for too long, and sometimes the best moments need to be savored, not hurried.

Second, that in all honesty, God doesn't NEED me. Sometimes I find that I want to do all these things, just to prove that I am needed and useful. But His gentle whisper is saying, "I don't need you. I CHOSE you. I WANT you. I CREATED you."

Therefore, once I quit proving and start resting, maybe I can begin to savor my relationship with Jesus rather than try to impress Him.

I've been reading "The PAPA Prayer" by Larry Crabb, and feeling like a baby Christian all over again. Letting myself be real and still before my Father is hard sometimes.  Taking the time to pour out my soul as I would to a very close friend. Can I say I'm learning? Yes. But I have a long way to go.

With all that said, as I look towards the future, it suddenly doesn't feel so big and mountainous. It's still unknown, and sometimes that scares me. But mostly, it excites me to know that I can trust my PAPA to work out the details. And for now, learn to BE. Right where I am.

"Let me walk by faith in the depth of the desert,

Learn to embrace, a life so much greater,

'Cause the dreams that I have, mean so much more,

If I take them to you, And give them up into Your arms..."

"He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him." (John Piper)

These are a few of my favorite things...

Pretty sure inspirations can come from the most random places. Hence, this will most likely become a random post. (can't say you weren't warned!)

 laughing pictures... nothing like natural expressions. :)

 candles. the best way to a cozy evening. or in this case, a really nice wedding...

 You can take the girl away from the piano,

but you can't take away the piano from the girl! 

(I know, its contradictory. Just nod your head like you agree.)

authors: alicia and amy. dedicated to: the birthday girl of December:)

wise words of wisdom. or random words of poetry.

either way, those word magnets are pretty swell if you ask me.

 ribbons and words. mmhhmm.

how about really awesome old books,

and an equally quaint old church?? 

This photographer's dream I tell you.

Raspberry chocolate trifle. Christmas bells are ringing...

kittens. 

(This coming from a sucker for baby animals.)

A little child shall show me... (how much I need to learn.)

It was a freezing night as we waited to take groups of people through the “Journey to Bethlehem,” which is a walk-thru nativity put on by a nearby church.  

            I was curious to see how the evening would go; interacting with all kinds of people and getting out of my comfort zone (did I mention it was also freezing cold? We guides looked like marshmallows with all our layers, plus Bible-time garb over everything.)

            As I was leading my first group to scene 2, I realized someone was walking quietly right beside me. Looking down, there was a young girl, not more than 7 years old, wearing a bright red coat and trying to match my stride.

Smiling at her I asked, “What’s your name?”

“Katherine,” she replied with a sweet look up into my face.

At the next scene she huddled close to me. I could tell she was kind of cold, so I moved my lantern closer to her. “You look cold. Does this help?” I asked. “A little,” she answered but leaned closer to me than the lantern.

            As I guided them through each scene, this young girl continued to follow me wherever I went. Which meant I had better be going the right way!

            The last stop was the manger scene, and as we walked towards our destination, I felt a little gloved hand slip into mine- Katherine’s.

            I’m afraid my first reaction inside was anything but caring. She hardly knows me, I look like a walking marshmallow, and yet she wants to hold my hand? I love kids, but isn’t she going a little far? How does she know I’m trustworthy?

Standing by the manger scene though, with her hand still in mine, a picture came to my mind. It was me feeling the hand of Jesus slip into mine. He was saying, “Katherine trusts you. You guided her to all the right places so she could get a picture of how I was born. Now, will you trust me to guide you?”

“Whoever welcomes this little child in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me welcomes the one who sent me.” (Luke 9:48)

Thank you, Katherine, for your childlike faith in me. I wish I could be more like you.

Ordinary Pencils

  Ever since I was 4 years old, my family has spent time a couple weeks before each Christmas putting together shoeboxes for operation Christmas Child. This is where you pack a shoebox full of school supplies, soap, toothpaste toothbrush, and small toys or trinkets for kids in third world or communist countries whose parents cannot afford to give them Christmas gifts.

Last night was spent shopping at the dollar store for the above mentioned items, and having fun while doing it.

Today as we packed our boxes, I glanced at the pencils I was going to put in. They were ordinary wood pencils with seemingly no real significance to the average American. My thoughts wondered to a kid somewhere far away who would look at such a small thing as a valuable treasure.

As I picked up the pencil, I rolled it back and forth in my hand, wondering if that was how I viewed that child. Had I ever really cared about where the box went, and what it meant to that person? Had I ever really stopped to think about what God sees in our hearts as we “Do good stuff to help the poor?” Yes, it is a good feeling to buy pretty things for the girls, or cool little balls for the boys, but is that the primary reason we buy it?  Is it just for some nice feeling in our gut?

My gaze fell to the rest of the items I had put in the box. There were colorful hair bands, nice smelling soap, and colored pencil crayons among others.

 I felt ashamed as I thought about my own selfish motives. Somewhere along the line, I had forgotten about the young girl that would be receiving the box. What was her home like? How did she live? And more importantly, did that really matter to me? Although there was nothing wrong with the nice feeling of helping the less fortunate, there was something wrong with my lack of compassion. I failed to understand the words of Jesus when he said to “love your neighbor as yourself.” And this, Jesus had said, is the second greatest commandment. How could I forget such an important, vital piece of my faith?

As I placed the pencils back in the box, my prayer became renewed:

“Father, could you be with the receiver of this box tonight? Teach me to have real love for this child of yours. And please forgive this selfish heart.”

Once upon a time at least a year ago, I had a sudden inspiration about Dad's and daughters. So I wrote down a few thoughts, in article form, about my own experience and just some things I've learned. I came across it the other day, and thought perhaps it might be blog-worthy. It's nothing big, but I do hope that some of you can identify. I have an amazing dad. But even if you don't, there is a heavenly Daddy who is so much more amazing and who can offer so much more love than any earthly dad can....

              A Daddy’s   Daughter

            “No, it was mine! I had it!” With those words I would run off in anger to my bedroom and bury my head in my pillow. Soon the door would open and dad would come in, as he usually did, and wait for me to stop crying. Then he would talk to me. Though I rarely ever do this anymore, I never forgot those days. I always knew that Dad would come after me.

Then the days came when I thought I no longer needed my Daddy as much. I trotted off to my own ideas and ways of life. There came a day when my relationship with my dad was not that close. Sure, I knew he existed…. Somewhere in the house. One day he came home talking about a father-daughter thing in Virginia. He wanted to take me to it. And it scared me. I didn’t want to do this. I was fine with life the way it was. Though I didn’t voice my opinion much, I found myself going with my dad on the 3-hour drive with a couple other dads and daughters. The first night, something happened that changed almost everything. I started talking. My dad started talking. In fact, he talked more than I talked (which, by the way, is very rare.) Though it didn’t happen overnight, I began to realize that my daddy really did love me, that he was my favorite daddy, and that he cared about the decisions I made.

            I also realized how fortunate I am. I know people who search so desperately for love and attention, when in reality, all they are searching for is someone who can fill the void there Daddy never did. I hear of many people with regrets, many years of silence, all because their Daddy never said the words every daughter longs to hear: “You are beautiful, I love you, and I am proud of you.”

            That boosts a daughters way of how she not only views herself, but how she views life in general.

              Speaking from a daughter’s perspective, girls also long for loving physical touch. Not abusive mind you, but they long for a dad who does not shy away from giving their daughter a hug now and then, or a kiss on the forehead. (Though I will admit sometimes us daughters are reluctant to do either.) As my relationship with my dad has grown, I’ve found out that we don’t always agree and no, we don’t always get along. But because he takes time to listen to what I have to say, I feel free to ask him for advice on almost anything. Although he rarely ever uses gushy words or little sweet statements, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my dad loves me. It is the time he takes with me, and the deep relationship he has with Jesus that I respect my daddy for. Of course he’s not perfect, but because he loves the heavenly Father, he has become a great example to me of an earthly father. 

 Daughters yearn for love. We always will. So this is my message to dad’s: “Daughters need to know. They need to know that their Daddy loves them!”  

I suppose

So with this being a new blog perhaps I should start off with pictures. Since pictures depict personality which adds character and gives away my photographer status. baha.
Most recently, I had a lovely week being surprised by by friends and family for my recent birthday...
Again, I thank all that made my week feel special! :)

                                            First was the surprise of my parents taking the whole
                                            fam out to Wasabi for a lil lunch...

                                          mmmmmm....

                                          Then Saturday was the surprise out Panera Bread with
                                          some girlfriends. 'Twas a lovely time!

                                           And who could resist the yearly tradition of mini pumpkin
                                           muffins with dip. In the words of McDonald's, I'm lovin it!

Quote for the day: (taken from the script of Anne of Green Gables in honor of the 2-year anniversary production from Life Fellowship Youth Group. Yes, we are sentimental. :)

"I was imagining I was the little girl in the blue dress, standing off by herself as if she didn't belong to anybody, and hoping nobody would notice her. Except Him. She was afraid He might'nt notice her. But its likely he did, don't you think? And then He would look at her and put His hand on her hair, and oh, such a thrill of joy as would run through her!"
~Anne

Perhaps we long for that thrill of joy, too...