On Being Poured Out and Filled Up

pour [verb]:
1. to send flowing or falling, as from one container to another, or into, over, or on something
2. to emit or propel, especially continuously or rapidly
3. to produce or utter in or as in a stream or flood

fill [verb]:

1. to make full; put as much as can be held into

2. to supply to an extreme degree or plentifully: to fill a house with furniture; to fill the heart with joy.

3. to satisfy fully the hunger of; satiate
  
I don't mean to make this a long, drawn-out post. 
However, the understanding of these words as they relate to life, specifically the life of a Christian, has taken a long, drawn-out walk. 

If I am honest, I used to believe it was glamorous and exciting and a thrill to be "poured out." You get to love on orphans, feed the hungry, hang out with city kids on dangerous streets, buy the homeless person lunch. And then you walk away, patting yourself on the back for being such a good Christian and thinking to yourself, "Hey God, did you see what I just did there? You totally used ME to show that child YOU! That's so cool!"
And it is. 
However, it never required a lot of me aside from time and a little bit of energy. In reality, it wasn't pouring out because I really wasn't denying myself. I was helping my spiritual ego. 
And because I was doing such, I never really thought much of being filled up.

God took me to a season of life where I had to pour out every single day no matter if I felt like it or wanted to. It appeared to be fun and exciting and challenging... for a while. When pouring out becomes a daily thing, it ceases to be a glamorous and an easy, pat-yourself-on-the-back moment.  It actually becomes hard because the human nature in you doesn't like giving all the time. It hates denying itself of its comforts and privileges. It dislikes giving on the days when your head throbs and your "pouring out" isn't even noticed. It yells for attention when a situation arises that would be so nice to run away from.

And so, when you are pouring out every single day, something else that you never realized was so important suddenly becomes of the utmost importance: being filled up. 
Now, the secular and the even the Christian world told me that being filled up involves relaxing- pull your feet up, watch a pointless movie, maybe do your nails or read some easy fiction. Don't forget some chocolate or a good coffee drink. Ta-da! You're filled up. 
I tried this method for a while... It didn't work.
It took me a while to see that actually being "filled up" involves none of those things.
I found myself complaining to my mother about burn-out the one day.

She gave an illustration: "You're like a bucket with a hole in the bottom. You're bucket is full of water, but it's constantly draining out of the bottom of the bucket. You need to allow yourself to fill up, so you don't run dry."
Ah, the Source of the water.

To put it simply, if we are being "poured out" because of Christ, guess where we are going to be filled up?

Once again, human nature (more commonly known as self), doesn't like this idea. It wants to find it's own source. It wants to be self-sufficient or even deceiving.
"A dry bucket? Pawsh. Of course my bucket isn't dry. Granted, it's a lot emptier than it used to be, but look, it's still kind of pouring out... if you tip it on it's side you can get a couple good drops."
"Let myself be filled up? But isn't that selfish?"

No, my friend. Selfish is when you refuse to see that you need to be filled up. 
It appears to be self-explanatory. Fill means to "supply plentifully..." and that's what He does if we let Him. If we gorge, feast, delight in the Presence of God and ask Him to fill us up with more of Himself when there is nothing of us left.
(And as an added bonus- when you are filled up His way, He ends up filling you with so much joy that even though it doesn't always become easier, it does become an honor, a divine privilege, instead of a burden.)

"Come, all who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat!.. Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare." -Isa. 55